This World Is Not My Home

My husband and I just sold our home and are supposed to be closing on it by the end of April; if the good Lord is willing and the appraisal comes through for us on Monday.  We are going to be renting until September and then the plan is to move to Arizona.  But we will be leaving behind my oldest son, his wife, and our first grandchild.  Our youngest son is attempting to enlist in the Air Force and if he’s successful, which looks to be the case, then he will be going to basic training in a few short months.  I have major reservations about that, especially considering the state the world is in.  But that’s another whole story.

I do look forward to the warmer weather that Arizona offers over Alaska’s long, dark, cold winters, but I feel like that when we leave Alaska we will be entering a totally different country.  We may be somewhat isolated up here from the rest of the U.S., but there is also a sense of security, if you will.  Perhaps it’s just a false sense of security to believe we are more insulated from all the troubles (crime, natural disasters, etc) that the lower 48 seems to be experiencing on a regular basis these days, but it does seem like we have less of it up here.  I know anything can happen anywhere, and that I have to trust God to keep us safe wherever we land.   And I do.

It’s just a matter of figuring out what He wants us to do – where He wants us to be.   Of course, my husband is not a believer so he is not considering God’s will.  He’s relying on himself to make an informed decision.   I know I have to pray that he will make the right one.

Truthfully, I’m getting to the point where I don’t care where we end up – here or Arizona.  I don’t feel like either is going to satisfy this longing in me for a better place, a better home.  I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. No place is perfect.  Evil abounds everywhere, and it is becoming more prevalent everywhere, even here in Alaska.

I know I will not be satisfied or feel at home anywhere in this world anymore.  There is a longing in my soul for a far better country, where peace flows like a river – where I can rest in the arms of Jesus and never again feel sorrow, pain, or fear.

No, this world is not my home…and it hasn’t been for sometime now.





3 thoughts on “This World Is Not My Home

  1. chaya1957 April 12, 2014 / 2:49 PM

    I’ve had the same feelings. C.S. Lewis said that if we have yearnings that this world cannot fill, then we must be made for something beyond this world. Maybe you can suggest your son join the IDF as an alternative to the US military?

    Your quote of Esther 4:4 made me think; this is going to be fulfilled. I believe a prophecy is not always fulfilled quickly, as the Holy One is merciful, allowing time for repentance. It has been 70 years, a time of fullness of judgement for good or evil, since the world was silent, and those who were silent are being destroyed along with their father’s house. You hear a lot of whining, but those who shut their ears to the cry of the desperate will themselves cry out and be ignored.

    The Holy One has his moles, I believe, just like a foreign enemy plants its people under deep cover. Many years may go by, and perhaps the mole might grow comfortable in his place of exile and forget his purpose. But heaven is activating the moles, one by one, and covertly contacting them, dropping them their assignments and all that is needed to complete their tasks.


    • Nina Stone April 12, 2014 / 3:04 PM

      Thank you for your comment. Very thought-provoking and I believe very true.

      My son, fortunately, was rejected by the Air Force because of his very flat feet. Can’t say that I’m not happy. I’m very glad that he will not be getting involved in the military at this point in history. Other doors have already opened up to him and I think it will all work out for good. :)


  2. chaya1957 April 12, 2014 / 3:59 PM

    Baruch Hashem. I have some friends whose son is getting out now, and they are happy because of everything going down now. A service member in the US military could be forced to act against Israel or face the consequences. I have been ordered not to discuss my son’s plans following graduation on social media, but you might get the idea :) I also know someone whose daughter applied to the Air Force Academy and was rejected, and they are relieved.


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